Please excuse my lack of posting.
You remember the fits?
Well, they're still happening. I've been referred back to Neurology, but apparently there is a teeny-weeny (less than 0.5%) chance that they could have something to do with a reaction to the antidepressants I have been taking, Cipramil.
I wasn't taking much, they just put me on a half-dose (10mg as opposed to the standard 20mg) when I got ill, to try and cushion the somewhat inevitable upset of losing my job, my income, my hobbies, my mobility, my lifestyle, the friends that went with each of those things (except for the core of "real" friends who could accept my new limitations), and exchanging it all for 24/7 pain.
This seemed very sensible, and indeed it seemed to work.
Except fits are bad. It can only be a matter of time before I have one at the top of the stairs, or in the kitchen with a knife in my hand, or out and about at a busy road. At best I will find myself carted off to hospital and have a lot of inconvenience to deal with, at worst we could be looking at some real damage occurring.
With this in mind, I fully agreed to come off the antidepressants. It's not the best time for it, things are kind of up in the air, Steve's work, mum's wedding, plus the fact that the fits themselves are rather stressful... but getting off the damn things seemed to be a matter of urgency, and hey, I'm a fairly sorted-out, confident kind of person, so as per the doctor's directions I spent two weeks taking them every other day and I'm now not taking them at all.
And Oh Sweet Jesus. It is not good. I don't just feel "depressed". We're talking about mood swings, full-blown paranoia (Steve is getting it in the ear with stuff like "you're saying you don't want breakfast because you don't want me to have breakfast, because you think I'm fat!", I mean what sort of logic is that?), hallucinations, panic attacks for no reason I can figure out, sweats, shivers, bursting into tears because my biro doesn't work...
So anyway, this in mind, please let me off for not posting a lot. I'm trying to write a nice one...
Apparently I can expect withdrawal to last anywhere between two and four weeks.