Monday, March 01, 2010

Still on cloud 9

I rather suspect that, no matter what happens in my life, I'm not going to trump my last post for a while yet. Even the business start-up, while consuming a fair chunk of my time, somehow doesn't seem quite as significant at the moment. A really big thank you to everyone who left a comment or phoned or emailed to congratulate us. The whole thing has been like a dream.

Now, of course, I have the new challenge of organising a wedding.

I've made a start on the research and found that it is possible to get legally wed for the grand total of £103.50 and two half-hour appointments a couple of months apart. This consists of £30 each in fees at the first appointment when we give notice of our intention to marry, and then second appointment and the rest of the cash covers the basic civil ceremony at the Registry Office (Mon-Fri only, maximum of 8 guests) and a copy of the Marriage Certificate.

From there it scales up, sometimes very rapidly. So far the biggest single number I've seen has been somewhere in excess of £5,000, although in fairness that was at a smallish hotel where they reserve the entire premises for the day, night, and morning after, including all the bedrooms, for you and your guests.

I like the idea of having it all in one place, no chances for anyone or anything to get lost or overlooked betwixt ceremony and reception, so I've asked every "approved premises" in my district to send me (a) their wedding brochure and (b) their accessibility policy. Unsurprisingly, only one venue has been able to respond with an actual proper access policy document detailing what is and is not in place. Others, when pressed for a response ("Thank you for sending me yet another copy of your wedding brochure. However before I can get excited about menus, I need to know whether I can actually get into the building...") say things like "there's a ramp kept at reception" as if that answers every possible accessibility question there is.

Even the places that I have visited for other reasons and know to be quite delightfully accessible, don't appear to have an access policy. It's frustrating, not only having to ask, but having so much difficulty getting a straight answer. Still, I'm gradually getting some options together.

I have some very definite ideas about the timetable and the food and drink. I have some less definite ideas about attendants (a decision likely to be made on who is close and sensible enough to offer support, rather than on family ties or a popularity contest) and guest list. Oh, that reminds me, if you are fairly certain you should have an invite, you should probably email me, because so far I'm not even sure I've remembered all of the family members let alone all the friends.

Things I have not even begun to properly think about yet: rings (yes), clothes (not a meringue), hair (up), makeup (photo-proof yet not orange), flowers (no idea), table decorations (even less idea), photos (Steven, you are NOT spending our wedding night on the post-processing), music, transport, guest accommodation, invitations, and probably a dozen or so other things. I hear there are books for this sort of thing. No idea which ones are worth reading, though. And so it goes round, and round, and round.


Maggie said...

Hi Mary, you might like to take a look at Mithi's wedding posts. She made lots of stuff for her wedding, might give you some ideas?

Hugs from Liverpool, Maggie

erasmus (aka jiva) said...

been there took me 18 months to decide where and when and get it sorted. Although I was more relaxed about it, but also had a lot of things decided for me due to circumstance. You can chat with me any time about some of the things I learned from the experience. Also as a business side, ever thought of going in to writing the disability access guides? good sideline?

ChrisMooney78 said...

Following my very recent diagnosis of ME/CFS, I have set up a blog in order to help me cope and of course to communicate with other people who are in a similar situation. Please check it out!

ps: Many congratultions on your engagement.

Mary said...

Maggie - yikes! I'm not that crafty! Handwriting the invites, certainly, handmaking, less so. Don't be fooled by the knitting. I have as much creative ability as... as... as someone who can't even think up a suitable simile!

Jiva, you bet I'm going to be running ideas past you. Your wedding was incredible. :)
The disability advice has to stay strictly amateur, though. As soon as you start making people pay for any sort of advice, the insurance goes through the roof!

Chris - thank you. I've had a quick look at your blog and I think we are not in any kind of similar situation other than a shared diagnostic label. I hope that one way or another you find some peace.

Carie @ Space for the Butterflies said...

I might still have my books lying around somewhere; I'll have a look for them. The thing I remember the most is that it's incredibly easy to get swept up into all the little fiddly extras which somehow cost a bomb and I suspect explains a lot as to why the average cost of a wedding is so crazy expensive. Our wedding was fairly simple but I never felt that anything was missing and as my mother once said, " the only thing the guests remember years later is that you looked stunning (because all brides do) and whether or not it was raining (and you have no control over that)". It turned out to be sound advice. Focus on what really matters to you and Steve and work from there. (and if you want to meet up sometime and have wedding girly chats give me a shout - I might even make it to knitting tomorrow :)

Mary said...

Thanks Carie, I suspect I will take you up on that.

We're getting there on the priorities. Invites, for instance - I want them to be pretty, but I don't think I care enough about them to go bespoke.

Hope to see you soon!

cogidubnus said...

We did it many years ago on virtually zilch...admittedly it was second time round for both of us...but my much-esteemed missus made both the dress and her bridesmaids dresses too (nearly all recycled from garments used first time round) AND dressed a pair of old shoes to match...I wore my work suit suitably titivated...

Transport was provided by my firm (I work for a bus company and twisted some arms) and the reception was at our place - I did most of the cooking...

Go for it!