Monday, February 14, 2011

DWQ Part 7

Part 7 of the Discworld Wedding Quotes project. This is the final instalment. It would include The Amazing Maurice if I had been able to find anything in there, but I couldn't, so we are simply rounding off with a short and sweet selection from Nanny Ogg's Cookbook.

“They say that the way to a man's heart is through his stomach, which just goes to show they're as confused about anatomy as they gen'rally are about everything else.”

“It is foresighted and useful for a young woman to become proficient in those arts which will keep a weak-willed man from straying. Learning to cook is also useful.”

“When I hear someone say that a husband cooks, I generally reckon it means he's got a recipe for something expensive and he does it twice a year. And then leaves the pans in the sink 'to soak'.”

On Courtship:
“It may come as a surprise that anyone needs any instructions about this, but even I was once a rather shy girl who had difficulty meeting young men. But it wore off by mid-morning when I realised what I was doing wrong.”

“We breed good men in Lancre, but I have to say sometimes they could do with a good ding around the lughole.”

“On long cold winter nights, when the young man may have come a long way, he is allowed to share a bed with the young lady, although both remain fully clothed and a bolster is put down the middle. However, since love traditionally laughs at locksmiths, it probably grins widely at a pillow full of feathers.”

"Lots of people have asked me for advice about this. They say, 'Mrs Ogg, can you just rely on there bein' a fight?' And, yes, you gen'rally can. My advice is to make sure the drink is strong enough and that people are seated right to make it happen quite soon. That way you've got it over with and can get on with things without that naggin' feelin' that something's wrong."

There we go. Thank you for reading, and I hope some brides and grooms to be find this series useful.

For me, the next step will be to shuffle these about in an Open Office Draw file, then print them out and try and do something pretty and papercrafty with them, so that they can be used as additional decorations.

Today is Valentine's Day. Steve and I have been engaged for a year and now have something less than 100 days to go until we tie the knot. We have the registrar, the venue, and the rings, so we definitely meet the basic criteria for a wedding - we even have the dress, the cake, and the full guest list complete with addresses. From here on in it should just be the frantic completion of dozens of DIY projects that seemed like a good idea when our Days Until count was still in three figures.


Unknown said...

Thank you thank you thank yoU! I've been looking for just this kind of material for ages. And although I was relishing a re-read of the discworld series, it's nice to have this body of quotes here. In fact, you've given me the perfect one (from the thief of time). So thank you thank you thank you!! :)

Anonymous said...

I can't thank you enough for this beautiful collection! I hope your wedding was wonderful and thank you for your your amazing contribution to mine...

Galen Osier said...

Thanks for this! I've been wracking my brain to try and choose a quote or two from Mr. Pratchett and this has been just the thing I was looking for. Thanks again.

Cat said...

Thank you so, so much for this. I hope you had an amazing wedding and got the DIY things you wanted done in time! There's lots here for my fiancé and I to consider for our wedding. Thank you for taking the trouble to do this.

La Poon said...

Hi! My fiance (also a Steve) and I are huge discworld fans and these posts have been amazing! Thanks so much for combing through all the books :)

Sandy said...

Thank you so much for compiling this list! Really useful for our 2024 wedding :)