Yesterday Pip and I took the Littlun to Adventure Island, which is a big warehouse on a local industrial estate that has been converted into a pirate-themed indoor playground, using money from government initiatives and sponsorship from commercial companies, most notably Cadburys.
It was great, and if you click on the picture it should take you to my flickr photostream so you can see more pictures. But even though we were only there for three hours, and even though I wasn't clambering around the play areas or lifting Littlun, or even walking fast or standing for longer than a minute or two, I was just watching the two of them and taking a few photos, it still left me beyond knackered.
I'm just scared that if I stop doing this stuff, pushing my limits to spend time with friends Doing Things, I won't be able to be a part of their lives at all any more.
In fact no, I'm not "just scared". I'm terrified. The worst times of my life are the times when I just physically cannot leave my bedroom and I'm completely alone. The lifeline is knowing that I have friends who *will* come round, make themselves and me a cuppa, and sit on the bed with me chatting quietly in the semidark for half an hour. But if I don't make the biggest effort I can to be part of their lives when I'm capable, then they will have no reason to do this...
But I'm overdoing it, at the moment. And I don't know how to find the right balance.
Nice People:
- Snack kiosk attendant at AI, who despite a b-i-g queue what with it approaching lunchtime, did still offer to help me carry drinks over to where Pip and I had plonked our stuff. (I declined and said I'd make several trips. I'm not heartless.)
- The mum who helped me grab Littlun's lost sock. Why do toddlers object so much to pairs of socks?
Saturday, May 20, 2006
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