Thursday, November 18, 2010

The Wedding Of The Year

Please don't hate me for bringing up the Prince William/Kate Middleton/engagement thing. Yes, I know, it's already hideously overexposed. Yes, I know, you're sick of hearing about it. I'm sorry.

If it helps, this post isn't about them as such. If I wasn't in the middle of wedding planning myself, then the entirety of my response to the news of their engagement would consist of "oh, that's nice for them," and wouldn't warrant a tweet let alone a blog post.

However I have been nurturing a Bridal Brain since February, so my initial response was "oh, that's nice for them... hang on! Spring or Summer 2011?!? AIEEAAAAGH!!!" Ever since the drive home from Wales back in February, Steve and I have been planning for Spring/Summer 2011 (we've settled on a date in May) and now I am having irrational fears of our wedding being upstaged, sidelined, downplayed, faded out and all sorts of other directional diminishment.

A couple of times I very nearly tweeted "if they steal our date, I'll bloody well kill them," but recent events mean that even though I would only mean this in the figurative sense, and even though it should be apparent that someone with my physical attributes poses very little threat to a healthy Forces-trained male even without a constant bodyguard presence, it would still be a bloody stupid thing to say. So instead I went with "If they pick our wedding date, I'll... I'll... I'll be quite annoyed #IAmNotBraveEnoughToBeSpartacus" and felt like an enormous coward.

I mean, it's bad enough to end up sharing your wedding day with a major sporting event (Wimbledon, World Cup, Test Match Cricket, whatever) that your guests are going to be sneakily trying to keep track of. To clash with the hype of a major royal wedding... it doesn't bear thinking about!

The biggest problem is that, for obvious reasons, I have to spend a lot of time resting, and if I can't sleep, I tend to daydream, and my daydreams aren't always kind to me. This opened my brain to the horrific possibility that if they get married in, say, March, and they have, for the sake of argument, a pirate theme to entertain the kids who are attending, then when people come to our wedding in May and see all the pirate party bags and whatnot, then even though we bought that stuff in summer 2010, it'll look like we're trying to emulate them. Same goes for music, readings, colour schemes, dress style... it's unlikely they're going to have anything like what we've chosen, as they'll be restrained by a lot of protocol, but what if? What if our carefully planned and very personal wedding just looks like a poor imitation of the most highly publicised marriage so far this century?

I know this is irrational! I know that even if they want pirates, they won't be allowed pirates! I know none of our guests will be making comparisons! But Bridal Brain is not conducive to sane, rational thought!

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I'll understand if anyone wants to just come back in June.

9 comments:

Carie said...

Ah but the one thing they don't have is fridge poetry save the dates and that's one of the most genius things ever so they'll never top you. I've got a good idea how bride brain feel though - let's just say my mum sent me an email at the end of august to tell me Sam Cam beat me! I had no idea until that point that I was competing in a birth race. I prescribe a cup of tea and a chocolate hobnob!

Little Miss Adventure said...

Yours was planned first, so even if their date is first, it'll be them stealing ideas from you!

ccr in MA said...

I have noticed in myself that recognizing my own irrationality sadly does not snap me out of feeling it. Would that it were so easy!

Mary said...

I think the big difference is that if they copy me, they won't know about it.

Sarah said...

We got married on FA Cup Final day. We wanted May, and that was the only saturday in May that year with slots free at the Registry Office. Must have been lots of people worried about their relatives preferring football to them. Which is sad.

Mary said...

I think I wouldn't mind any friend or relative who didn't attend our wedding because they would prefer to be at the Cup Final/Royal Wedding/etc. Because they could just make up an excuse and I could go "oh, what a shame you can't come, we'll save you a bit of cake," and still be friends.

It's more the comedy cliché of half the guests staring into space with one earbud of a pocket radio, possibly with added leaping up with a triumphant "YESSSSS!" when the officiant asks the guests to, ahem, speak now or forever hold their peace.

Noisey said...

I know this is cheating but...If you're in a room having a nice lie down you could always allocate these times as radio/tv times where those who want to gorge themselves on the football/cricket or the royal frivolity can use that time and save the rest for wedding time? Though parents and parents-in-law may not approve of this idea!

Mary said...

I should probably say that even if our date did turn out to be the Royal Wedding AND the FA Cup Final AND the inauguration of a new Pope AND the climax of an Eastenders storyline, I still feel I can trust all of the guests to not be tuning in during the ceremony.

It's not a real-world worry that needs something doing about. It's just my brain ganging up on me.

Noisey said...

Ah the over-thinking brain, I've got one of them too :(