Monday, August 07, 2006

I Enjoy Sex

It's okay. This isn't the traditional post made by a disabled person whereby I insist upon shoving it in my reader's faces that I still have my sexual organs and the desires to go with them, usually by using language that is far too crude for my usual style and frankly cringeworthy and often smacking of desperation. To be honest, if there are still any muppets out there who think disabled people aren't sexually active then there's no helping them, no matter what I or anybody else writes on the topic.

No, this post is about this blogger.

"Abby" does seem to have a high sex drive, something I reckon she'd be the first to admit. Back in 2004 she started blogging about it, under an assumed name. Then in 2006 she got a book deal, and the book itself was recently released.

(That's happened to several bloggers, although I can't see it happening to me - which is a good thing, can you see me having the energy to write a book?)

Yesterday the bubble burst, as you'll see on her blog. A journalist has been harrassing her, stalking her if you like, and on Sunday they gleefully published her full name, details of where she works and so on in the national press. These are details which "Abby" has made an effort to conceal, not just for her own personal and professional sake but also for her family, friends and lovers.

The Press Complaints Commission's Code of Conduct states:

i) Everyone is entitled to respect for his or her private and family life, home, health and correspondence. A publication will be expected to justify intrusions into any individual's private life without consent.

As Tom Reynolds puts it "There is no 'public interest' in discovering the true identity of an anonymous blogger who happens to write about sex."

The article in question carries on to slam "Abby"'s lifestyle and lack of sexual repression to such an extent that one would think we were still in Victorian times. It must be admitted that the article does a marvellous job of proving the societal bias which "Abby" is often affected by, which is that what is normal sexual appetite and behaviour for a man, is frowned upon when demonstrated by a woman.

Personally, I applaud "Abby". In retrospect, it might have been naive to think she could get away with having a secret identity online. The internet is not a friendly place and success makes you a target. However her lifestyle, in my opinion, deserves no censure. She uses condoms and is therefore looking after herself and her partners. She doesn't bring children she cannot support into the world. She is independent. Her encounters appear to be based on a mutual understanding of what the situation is going to be each time, with a healthy amount of respect both for and from her lovers. She is able to identify what she wants and takes steps to get it. Are any of these bad things?

So, in solidarity: I enjoy sex. I enjoy it responsibly, I enjoy it openly, and I don't believe there is anything wrong with that at all.

Now, let's wait for the zoom lens to come through my window...

23 comments:

Man With A One Track Mind said...

good idea...
i think a few people may have our idea...
i though i would give the male angle on such things...
ill keep reading yours
t
manwithaonetrackmind.blogspot.com/

Mary said...

My idea was mainly about her having done nothing wrong or abnormal or criminal to warrant the gross invasion of privacy that was being stalked by a "journalist" and then having her full name, her place of work and a picture of her at her home splashed in the national press.

Convicted child molesters are given more privacy and respect than that.

Anonymous said...

I'm a married woman, what is this "sex" you refer to?

G said...

I smell a big publicity stunt. Why would the papers care about a woman and her sex blog? call my a cynic if you like, but it's a bit if a co-incidence that she's got a book out too. Think about it....

Mary said...

roxanne - it's that thing that happened nine months before the sproglet...

G - a good point. In this case, I'm inclined to believe that the press interest is because her blog has been successful enough for her to get a book deal and the book has very very recently been published, which does court press interest. Is the divulging of her real name an orchestrated stunt? It could be. However someone I trust who knows "Abby" personally says it isn't and that she is genuinely upset about it - that's good enough for me.

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