25/52 2018

Week 25
18 - 24 June



And from inside the cone, a small voice announced with delight and wonder:

"I am orange!"

17/52

This week's picture speaks for itself.



Jamie is generally speaking quite a happy child. We're getting a lot of these enormous gummy grins at the moment and we're loving each and every one.

Bill Bailey's Devil's Interval Doorbell

The other night, Steve and I were watching Bill Bailey's Tinselworm. It's entertaining in many ways - interesting as well as funny - and we've both watched it several times before.

For some reason, this time, we got to the section on doorbells...



... and looked at each other.

To the internet!

Step one: a doorbell which can be personalised. Soon Steve had found one that would play mp3s from an SD card.

Step two: creating an mp3 of the notes we wanted. The notes in question are at about 1:50 on that YouTube clip. But trying to get those few seconds from the DVD, without the crowd sounds, would have been tricky. Since we only needed three notes - and since Steve has enough of a musical ear to be able to identify what those notes are - the free trial version of Pianoteq was our friend here.

Step three was a poor design issue. The "button" part of the doorbell is white, and the bit you press, is also white. It needed to be more visible. Clearly a job for Sugru.



Twenty-four hours for the Sugru to set, and then who knows how long desperately waiting for somebody, anybody, to press the doorbell...

The Discworld Wedding Quotes Project

It's time for another wedding project!

I've been working on this one for the best part of a year. Steve and I are both Discworld fans - you can determine the point at which we moved in together by checking at which point in the series we start to only have one copy of each book in the house - and I wanted to incorporate some Pratchett into the wedding in some way.

The wedding ceremony as described in I Shall Wear Midnight seemed somewhat impractical for a person with limited mobility, and our venue probably would have had something to say about it as well, so I settled for digging up a few choice quotes about relationships.

My first stop was the internet, but googling for "discworld wedding quotes" just seemed to turn up forum after forum where brides and grooms asked if anyone knew of Discworld quotes suitable for weddings, and not much by way of answers.

So I decided to check for myself. One book at a time. Through the currently published canon of 32 Discworld Series books, 5 Discworld for Younger Readers books, and several "extras" such as The Last Hero, Nanny Ogg's Cookbook, and of course, Where's My Cow?. It took a while.

The biggest difficulty is that Pratchett is a master of extended metaphor. You find the most beautiful descriptions of love and relationships, but you also find that you'd have to copy out three sections of five pages each of backstory, most of which would be completely irrelevant text, to explain why something like "but they went the long way, and saw the elephant," is so meaningful.

Nevertheless I now have a document with some 17 pages of Discworld quotes relating to weddings, marriages, and love in various forms. I see no point in keeping this to myself when other people clearly want the information, so I will spread them over several posts and then edit this post to link back to them.

There are some books I haven't checked - the diaries, for instance - and some whose inclusion I'm still unsure about, such as Nation and Good Omens. There will also be quite a few quotes that I've missed. Please feel free to fill any gaps.

Part One
The Colour of Magic, The Light Fantastic, Equal Rites, Mort, Sourcery, Wyrd Sisters, Pyramids, Guards! Guards!, Eric, and Moving Pictures.

Part Two
Reaper Man, Witches Abroad, Small Gods, and Lords and Ladies.

Part Three
Men At Arms, Soul Music, Interesting Times, Maskerade, Feet Of Clay, Hogfather, and Jingo.

Part Four
The Last Continent, Carpe Jugulum, Fifth Elephant, The Truth, Thief of Time, and Night Watch.

Part Five
Monstrous Regiment, Going Postal, Thud!, Making Money, and Unseen Academicals, plus The Last Hero and Where's My Cow?

Part Six
The Tiffany Aching books: The Wee Free Men, A Hat Full Of Sky, Wintersmith, and I Shall Wear Midnight.

Part Seven
The Amazing Maurice (except I couldn't find anything) and Nanny Ogg's Cookbook.

An Engineer's Guide To Cats

While I don't usually regurgitate the b3ta newsletter onto my blog, this was one of those things. Those special things. Those things that just, somehow, wriggle into your consciousness rather than being a two-minute giggle that is forgotten with the next shiny object that rolls past.

The Engineer's Guide To Cats, by Paul Klusman with TJ Wingard, is nominally about cats. Indeed, Paul opens the video with "The purpose of this presentation is to educate engineers, and the general public, about cats."

Nice idea, but really, I think this is the ideal film to educate the general public (and possibly, cats) about engineers. An oft-misunderstood species, I have believed for many years that engineers make superior boyfriend material (although Dilbert may be interested to know that NASA have not hidden me on the moon yet) but I have been unable to explain WHY. What is it about a man with a scientific calculator, a leatherman, and a roll of duct tape, that is attractive?

I still can't explain it properly in actual words. Could it be the intelligence? The single-minded devotion? The attention to detail? The defeat of self-consciousness? I don't know. But I defy any woman to watch these two play with their cats and not melt a little bit inside. That's what it is about engineers.

Love is...

I had a tough time getting to sleep last night and went a bit feverish for a while, but eventually it wore off. Steve was fussing a bit, and the following conversation happened...

STEVE: Are you warm enough? Do you want more duvet? Do you want all the duvet?
ME: I'm fine, I only want half the duvet. *evil grin* well, maybe 60%.
STEVE: Ah, a marital half, I see.
Steve pushes aside the duvet and places a pillow over his arm and shoulder.
ME: What on earth are you doing?
STEVE: Shed.

No worries

With the DLA crud dealt with, I've been just taking it easy, relaxing, trying to recoup some energy, that sort of thing. You remember I said it's been like dealing with an exam? Well, this is that big knackered empty feeling afterwards except the knackered part is multiplied by "I have long-term lurgy and have been overdoing it".

So there's been lots of blank time, just lying still and not thinking about anything at all. And there's been a lot of gently vegetating in front of the computer. Well, in the vicinity of the computer. In fact I've spent a good deal of time gazing at the patterns of light on a can of furniture polish that's on my desk. And watching my Sunshine Buddy - very soothing.

I've been particularly enjoying watching a lot of stuff on youtube by Tripod, a trio of comedy musicians from Australia. Particular favourites include Gonna Make You Happy for all the other Girlfriends of Geeks out there (you have to listen at least until 1:08, the whole thing is 3:52), Ghost Ship which is just very silly indeed, or this relaxing little bit of politics.

Those who know me will not be surprised to hear that my favourite is Scod, the one with the dark hair and glasses. Me and geeks with dark hair and glasses, it's just this thing and there seems to be very little I can do about it. Don't worry though Steve, you don't need to learn guitar.

Knittingwise, I've got my next project lined up - a hat for Sister Dearest - and she has picked a pattern and told me what colour she wants. I've got the needles and I'm just waiting on the wool. For some crazy reason, charcoal-coloured 100% merino wool yarn is tricky to get hold of in June. She wants black flowers embroidered on it. So if anyone has a handy end-of-a-ball of black yarn in their stash that they want rid of, I have a use for it. Also, I would like to flag my utter amazement at the knitting dedication of Dominocat.

Finally, it just wouldn't be a Saturday if I hadn't recieved some rubbish from the Department of Work and Pensions that requires action or query but that I won't be able to do anything about until Monday morning.

Luckily it's not a "worry" thing. There's a letter from the DLA department reminding me that I had said I had additional information to submit for my reconsideration and that if this is the case, I must post it to them ASAP (hurrah!) and one from I'm not sure what department, but not DLA, that starts with "thank you for informing us of your recent change in circumstance" which, ???!?!? because I haven't actually informed them of any changes, being as how nothing has, you know, CHANGED as yet. I hope it's just a pre-emptive thing because my original award of DLA expires on August 8th. If it is, that's a relief, because it means there was actually a department that were on the ball and I don't have to go see them on August 7th and say "ummmm...", but it is always as well to check these things, and write down the name of the person who explains it to you.

One day to go...

... no, not that benefits rubbish, I'm talking about the important things in life. Kingdom of Loathing, a game to which Steve, myself, and several of our friends are utterly addicted to, is having a major overhaul.

Very Brief Explanation for Non-KoLers:
KoL is a text-based online role-playing game which draws heavily on the sort of humour found in Monty Python, Discworld, or The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy, as well as being full of "references" to songs, novels, adverts, historical events and that sort of thing. You create a character, you adventure in various zones, you gain experience, and as you gain experience you are able to do more things, visit more zones, wield bigger weapons and so on. Helpfully, you have a limited number of "adventures" per day, so you can't just sit there playing it for hours on end. You start as a Level One character, and then for each level you attain you are given a new quest, up until Level Eleven, when you are tasked with hunting down the Naughty Sorceress.

A month ago, the warning was given that "NS13 is nigh!" NS13 is a project that the dev team have been working on for a while. Primarily, it means the quest to hunt and defeat the Naughty Sorceress is being moved from Level 11 to Level 13, with new quests being inserted for Levels 11 and 12. There's also going to be about 30 new zones, 400 new items, 100 new monsters, and twenty new trophies. Certain aspects of gameplay are going to be tweaked about. Most importantly, there have been no full descriptions of what is staying the same and what is changing. There's been hints here and there, but nothing definite beyond what you've just read.

There is now One Day To Go until NS13.

So yes, anyway, the last month has seen players in the Kingdom trying to get ready. Some have been farming for meat (the in-game currency), some have been trying to get trophies that are considered likely to be unobtainable after NS13, some are stockpiling goods, while some are trying to liquidise their in-game assets. Some have just been repeatedly ascending (explanation here if you want it) as fast as they can.

My own strategy has been a combination of these - I've picked up a couple of trophies, amassed a reasonable amount of meat and goods, and made sure that both the characters I play are up to level 13. At this point I should make clear that by the standards of the forums, I am a very distinctly casual player.

Rollover occurs at 3.30am UK time - in other words, that's when the in-game Today becomes Yesterday and Tomorrow becomes Today. I'm not planning to wait up, but I bet a lot of people are. KoL's load is spread over eight servers but tomorrow, odds are they are going to be creaking with the strain of people bouncing in to explore the new content.

It is only a game, but it's one I enjoy, and have done for over a year. I'm currently somewhere between apprehension about the new game mechanics, a hint of annoyance at having my cheese moved, but overwhelmingly, excitement at the idea of lots of new content to explore.

Which is better than spending the evening stressing over my draft response to the Department of Work and Pensions.

A very short post

This made me very, very, very happy.

Walking Stick?

There's a restaurant here that I like to go to. It's quiet, they do lovely food, have generally good service, aren't stupidly expensive, and manage to be family-friendly while not being a kiddie restaurant. The layout is of lots of different "rooms", up and down various flights of stairs, but they've made the effort with accessibility - the main entrance and bar (and the toilets) are ground-floor and totally accessible, and a combination of Stannah stairlifts and ramps/level access fire escapes mean that while a wheelchair user can't access every table in the place, they can use most of them. Usually they ask if I can manage the stairs and make an effort to seat us at a table with as few stairs to contend with as possible. Yesterday, Pip had a few hours without the Littlun, so we decided to go there for a spot of lunch.

Mary and Pip enter the restaurant, and approach the reception desk.

PIP: Good afternoon, could we have a table for two, please?

The waitress stands in silence for a few seconds, staring at Mary and Pip in utter shock or possibly disbelief, before turning and running off up the stairs.

PIP: Was it something I said?
MARY: Maybe "table for two" has become a slang term for something unspeakable.
PIP: (peeking up the stairs) I hope she's okay.

Enter the waitress, slowly making her way down the stairs with much trepidation. She stares at Mary and Pip in silence.

PIP: Is everything alright?

The waitress continues to stand silently. Mary and Pip start looking about for another staff member, to alert them that their colleague may be unwell.

WAITRESS: (slowly, pointing) Walking stick!
(pause)
MARY: (baffled) Yes, yes it is.
WAITRESS: (pointing) Out there. Fire door.
MARY: Excuse me?
WAITRESS: Stairs!
PIP: You want us to go in the fire door out there?
The waitress nods and without waiting for a response, runs off up the stairs. Mary and Pip exchange a glance, shrug, and make their way back outside, round to the fire door, which is open, and into the restaurant, where the waitress is beaming proudly by a table with two menus on it.

Strangely - or perhaps not - once we were seated, the waitress had a full and complete grasp of conversational English, albeit with a lifelong Suffolk accent.

Haute Cuisine

This evening for dinner Steve and I cooked pork chops, mash, and bacon. The idea is that I'm the one who knows how to cook stuff, but he's the one who's able to safely get stuff out of the oven, or turn off the gas and sort things out if I start fitting or if I collapse, that kind of thing. So it's a team effort, but he tends to regard it as me cooking.

So anyway, this meal. There are a number of cooking things I regularly cheat with to save time, energy or washing up - instant gravy, pre-peeled/chopped veg, that sort of thing - and this meal was no exception. The mash was Smash, and the bacon was pre-diced. He mixed the Smash, I fried the bacon, we mixed the two together, huzzah.

The pork chops, however, I did from scratch the way my mum used to, with a certain amount of various seasonings, an eggy-breadcrumby coating, pan-fried and then baked for a while covered over with foil. Obviously mine are never as good as my mum's, but then nothing is as good as your own mother's home cooking. They're perfectly passable though and might well fool the casual observer.

We sat down to eat, and as he often does, Steve started enthusing about the meal. "Mmmm, this is fantastic. Thankyou darling, this is gorgeous. We must never feed my dad this, he wouldn't want to leave," and so on. Of course, I asked what it was in particular he liked, for future reference... of course, he was on about the bacon-y Smash.

Comic Relief

I never thought Tony Blair would make me smile, but...



Also, if you like blogs, you'll probably enjoy this book, with all profits going to Comic Relief.

Code Monkey

I've been digging through old emails, bookmarks, etc, and rediscovered this song:


Code Monkey!
Song by Jonathan Coulton, Video by Mike Spiff Booth.

I love this song. Liked some of his other stuff too. Have a looksee.


edited a minute after posting to add the creators' names. Oops.